HOUYHNHNM

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Did you ever think about if you had a boy?

rockOh, I hadn't thought about that, but maybe it's not quite right. I think that is scary. There's a destructive power in a boy's cry. I think something a little uncontrollable is going to come out in that.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)It was so hard, girl. I thought it was training (laughs). I wasn't very conscious of it, so at first I would say things to my daughter like a mother would say to her. And I was like, "Wow!

rockBy yourself?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Yes. I was like, "Oh my God, she's just like my mother." I realized that this was a bad idea, and I think that's why the book has come this far. There must be a lot of people who follow the same pattern without really realizing it. I guess they can only do what they have been told to do. I always thought it would have been better to have a boy. I thought it would be different.

rockI see.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)But I wonder if the birth of my baby girl has helped me recover this much. I feel that now is the easiest time for me. I've broken off with my parents.

rockIt's easy. Yes, it is. It has weight. I can't believe it's come this far (laughs). How long did it take you to write it?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)This ("Workable ECD") is for one or two years, maybe, during a really difficult time when the children are small. This ("Kananai") is for five years. This one ("The Last Day of the Family") is for two months (laughs).

rockYou write well.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)I'm writing even now.

rockAgain?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Write about your husband.

rockI see. Cancer is really terrible. What is the purpose of that disease?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)One out of two is dead. Well, it can't be helped. It can't be helped.

rockAnyway, I think doctors are a mystery. When my wife was sick and needed to write a consent form for surgery, he said, "Don't worry. I've done about 2,000 surgeries so far, and only one of them has resulted in death. Don't worry. At the time, I thought that was a very simple thing to say. But from the medical community's point of view, being able to save 1999 out of 2,000 people is a tremendously effective treatment. I thought it would be very difficult to understand that and sign "Oh, yes, that's right. ...... In the end, I signed it and was safe. I have a feeling that this could be a wild ride depending on the outcome.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)That's right.

rockThat kind of choice is quite common, isn't it?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)There are a lot of them. Yeah.

rockIs it anti-cancer treatment?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Yeah. Now, finally, that's it.

rockI am also worried about what I would do if I were to be treated with anti-cancer drugs. Would you go through with it?　Anticancer drugs.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Hmmm... No, I guess I don't know~. I've never thought about it.

rockWhen that happens, doctors are sure to say, "If you had not done the anticancer drug treatment, you would have died earlier.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Ahhhhh.

rockI say, "I did it and it extended this long." But as a deathbed, ...... well, I don't know. Isn't it amazing how powerful anti-cancer drugs are?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)If it works, I guess it's good.

rockIt is amazing how miraculous it is when it works. When my mother had malignant lymphoma, one of her legs swelled up like this, and after visiting about five hospitals and being told it was a bone problem, they finally found it was cancer. I thought to myself, "That kind of thing can happen.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)I was told a second opinion or something. She said that my husband doesn't want to work hard at our house anymore. Like this hospital is fine.

rockI see. So it's like it's okay to ask for opinions?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Yeah, I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere. The anti-cancer drugs have taken away my strength, and I've lost about 20 kilograms of weight. It's really hard for me to move.

rockHow long have you been there already?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)It hasn't been a year yet. Since the cancer was discovered. I had several surgeries, and metastasis was found the other day. But I was told that it would be difficult if it metastasized. I was told that all I had to do was to use anticancer drugs to prolong the disease. When the husband was admitted to the hospital, he was told, "Please stay with your wife for a while. I will explain everything.

rockIt's an unbearable story.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Oh, yeah. I thought, "Here it comes, here it comes. So, there are two types of anti-cancer drugs, and if the first one doesn't work, they will use the second one, but the second one is pretty tough, he said. He said he didn't want to do anything more difficult, and he didn't want to do radiation treatment either.

rockI wonder why that is.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)He is a rapper, after all, and he said he didn't want radiation if it would ruin his throat. Now, I spend time with my husband wondering what he thinks about it. So I think I have to hurry. I'd like to hear what he has to say.

rockOh, I see. It's not a will.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Yes, yes. I think that my husband allowed me to express myself freely in this way, or rather, I think that it was because of him. I think it was because of him that I was able to express myself freely in this way.

rockThat's great, isn't it? That was a lot of fun. I was thinking, "What, what, what is this couple?

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)That's right. That's why I thought there were no People like this.

rockIt could be if they started the couple on the premise of being open, still. But not so much. I wonder what kind of tension this conversation is based on.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)It's interesting.

rockNo, it's very interesting. I feel like I'm talking to them one-on-one, in a very fair way. They try to use a little bit more socially acceptable language to attack you, like, "What do you mean? What are you trying to do? It's not like that at all, as far as I read it. But I'm going to go to ....... It's like, "Oh, I get it.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Yes, yes. I thought it would be bad if I lost such an interesting person.

rockYes. That's right.

garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)I'm in a bit of a hurry right now.