A married woman reveals the existence of her boyfriend to her husband, and what she sees ahead.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)I have a manuscript that I had been working on for a year last year, and I was in a big hurry to get it out. I had a manuscript that I had been writing for a year last year, and I was in a big hurry to get it out. I read the rough draft of the manuscript. I was too scared to read it, but I found my part of it.
rockEgo-searching.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Oh yes. When I published "The Last Day of Family" in February of this year, I wrote an essay in Gendai Business. I wrote something like, "My husband had a boyfriend right before he got cancer, but we broke up with him and became a family again. When my husband read it, he wrote on the page, "Oh, I knew it.
all of us(Laughter).
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)I was relieved to know that he thought, "I knew it. I was relieved to know that he felt that way. He didn't put it into words, but I could tell that he forgave me. I could tell from reading the copy that he saw me as an individual. The other day, I told her that there was a boy I thought was really cute (laughs).
rockWhat the hell?
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)That boy is very young.
rockYou are young, moreover (laughs).
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)She was so young and cute! I had been interested in her for about a year. When I showed her to my friends, they said, "She looks like Mr. Ishida! I thought, "Oh no! I told her, "People say I look like Mr. Ishida," and showed her the picture.
rockWhere are we talking about?
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)He said, "We don't look alike" (laughs). (Laughs.) "Lately, people say I look like Hiromitsu Ochiai. I do look like him, yes. I thought, "I should write about that, too. Recently, I feel like I've taken another step forward with the book. I wonder how far I can go.
rockDon't do it. You're going to pop, real soon. It's funny, how far you can go. Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I have to write about it, that's why.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)That's right. We have to leave behind the fact that Mr. Ishida is still alive. I have to leave behind the fact that Mr. Ishida is still alive.
rockYes, it is.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)When I show them some pictures, they are like, "Oh, they look alike, depending on the angle.
rockThat's okay, not really (laughs).
Why did you go back to that place again? (Laughs.) So, you are the same type of person, Mr. Ishida. As written in "Kanakanai," his brother-in-law committed suicide by jumping off the roof of his house.
rockIs there such a way to die? However.
I can only say that it was amazing to see him and to hear him make the statement "Dad, I don't have a tolerance for grossness" in response to your father-in-law's illness. ......
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Right. You've got a story, right?
I have to interview them, and so on.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Yes, yes. I'm writing a manuscript based on that interview.
rockThat's amazing. Did your brother-in-law have a will or something?
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)There is no such thing.
rockNone? That's intense.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)That's right. And your mother-in-law also had schizophrenic tendencies.
rockWhich one?
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Ishida's.
rockOh, yeah.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Yes, yes, yes. I think it is a sensitive family. Well, in Mr. Ishida's case, his family was broken from the beginning. Because of such a family, he wrote in his book that he did not have any ideals about his family. That is why he didn't have that much of an ideal for his family, even for me.
rockI see.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)I now understand why. We rarely had such conversations.
rockEven if it's not the only way, I feel like when suicide happens, people around you get a tremendous life gauge reduction, or something like that, or contamination. It's strong, even if you didn't really think about it only that way, things like "coverage, coverage".
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)The tension was great. Both me and my husband.
rockI guess I should say it's interesting.
I wonder why all those things happen around Mr. Uemoto.
rockIs it "write me?" I don't know.
In Ms. Iwai's case, it is only that after many people came together at the workshop, she said, "We all had that happen to us, too," but could it all happen to one woman in her 30s? Is it being pulled together?
rockActually, I wonder if there are. A lot.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)I think there are. I think there is a lot of it.
Your comment reminded me of a scene in "Te" where a character outside the family says, "Dad, it's totally fine," to which the mother replies, "You are of a different make. I thought, "Oh, so both Uemoto-san and Ishida-san are made differently. I thought, "It's not about their personalities, it's about the way they are made.
rockMaybe, I don't know. But, surprisingly, I do get hurt by ego searches. It is not a sentence that someone who is not hurt would write. But if you were hurt, you wouldn't be able to write.
You once remarked, "It's hard to write about hard things.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)No, it's tough (laughs).
rockI can't stand the pain, so I make it a little "wacky.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Oh, I see.
Listening to today's discussion, I still feel that there are similarities between the two, but I wonder if that is what makes them different. Uemoto-san's work is like undiluted liquid, and he does not use any humor.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Yeah, I guess so. I feel like I'm going all the way. But I think it's fine. I'm saying this without any evidence. If you're writing that at this rate, you must be okay. In terms of life as an athlete.
Yes, I do. When you meet the person.
rockLike a few more clouds.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)Was that the image you had?
rockI don't know. I couldn't imagine it at all.
garden bonfire (esp. one held on the imperial grounds)People say, "I thought you were scary. But I don't want to show something fake, so maybe that's where I'm coming from.
rockI think they are very pure.
I guess everyone perceives it differently, but in the sense that it is painful to read, I feel like I have a knife at my throat all the time.
rockBut maybe that's the way it is. I don't think the readers would think that since I couldn't breathe at the time, I shouldn't breathe yet either. I'm a shallow reader who needs to catch my breath easily. I might want to write without holding my breath, but I don't think I could stand it. But if I do that, I'm sure there are things I won't be able to reach.
In the case of theater, I also go on stage and ask, "Are you all right? Are the audience asleep? I was always inclined to take things lightly, including the "Are the audience asleep? But I finally began to realize a few years ago that I didn't need to do that. When I laugh, I don't think about anything else at the time. So, I realized that it doesn't matter if a film is funny or not when I find it very interesting. I realized that laughter is not important, and that something that keeps me thinking about something is richer. So I decided to do it that way. It was a bit painful, but I gradually began to realize that it was probably stronger that way.